No Excuses

March 23, 2011

(Though it is a chilly day, the sun shines brightly through a window, laying its rays upon a man sitting at his computer. His fingers readied upon his keyboard, and his eyes betray the idealistic anticipation in his heart. Words are swirling around in his mind, slowly falling into place as he envisions the first few sentences of his first blog.)

Ryebread: I’m doing this. I really am doing this! I’ve written fan fiction for obscure shows. I’ve written creative writing assignments for class. I’ve written pieces for another blog and I’ve written short stories just to keep in practice. But now I’m starting my own blog on my own terms, a responsibility to be upheld solely by myself.

Ryebread: But I have to remember. First and foremost, this isn’t about pride or marketing myself or internet cred. This is about maintaining a habit of writing regularly. I love writing, plucking ideas and thoughts from my mind and planting them down in the form of amusing self-reflection pieces or compelling narratives. However, if I want to even entertain the idea of producing articles and stories for the perusal of others as well as for myself, I need to not only practice the art of writing, but also to write so often, it will be a part of my life. Now, let’s do it.

August 23, 2012

My Two Pixels Worth, circa 2012.

(It is now 2012. In the span of nearly one and a half years, this blog has only accrued 3 posts.)

Ryebread: Well, damn.

I can make excuses. I could vent about four years of learning turning out to mean jack-squat in the working world, and a year of fruitless job-searching before giving up and starting over in college. I could hypothesize with anecdotes and observations about how modern society (mostly through popular media) is catering to shorter attention spans, and how entertainment is increasingly stuffed with quick doses of action padded with the fluff of bland dialogue and nonsensical plot twists. I could even cop to how I have most certainly spent a lot more time playing games then writing about them, while claiming that it was for research or experiments or inspiration.

However, these do not touch upon the main reason for this blog’s disuse: my own irresponsibility. Yes, I have more pressing concerns in my life to deal with, but I made the decision to start this blog. Besides being a more permanent online presence for me on the tumultuous sea that is the internet, it was also meant to keep me writing regularly. Back then, I at least knew myself enough to know that I am terrible at keeping focused on a single task. Hell, in the writing of this alone, I’ve alt-tabbed back and forth from Chrome to Steam to Skype in varying orders every time I finish a sentence or two. And then halfway through the writing of this, I completely procrastinated on finishing it for another two months! Mind you, I didn’t say anything about this in the beginning; at the time, I still entertained a faint fancy of writing professionally and feared including anything that would make me appear as a less viable candidate for projects and positions.

Now, things are different. This is a message from me to me, to serve as both an admonishment and as a reminder. This space of 17 months between blog posts is not my one single failure, but a continuous stream of failures at writing a blog. Every second of free time that I did not dedicate to the act of writing but instead to the practice of in-game massacres and the accumulation of virtual treasures is another tick on an already monolithic metaphorical failure counter, blotting out the sunshine of my ideals and intentions.

Oh, they were all so satisfying though, I can’t deny that. There was that TF2 moment when I leaped from a window, fired a rocket into a group of enemies, and turned them all into a hailstorm of bodily organs. The feeling I had as I landed amidst the pitter-patter of livers screaming like a blood-crazed baboon, it was exquisite. As for the hours I spent in Terraria, delving deep into the planet’s crust and fighting off the creatures beneath, those lay the foundations for the feeling. The feeling of scraping together the rarest of ores and shaping them into the most powerful of items, turning me from a paltry peasant into a god-warrior to be feared. These and many others were the achievements that swelled the heart and warmed the soul.

But these were cheap achievements, the drive-thru cheeseburgers of achievements. Like a quickie in a bathroom stall, these satisfied but had no permanence. The true glory belonged to Valve and Re-Logic. While players like myself climbed mountains and crossed seas, they were the ones who crafted them from numbers and pixels. Above all else, it is the act of creation that deserves merit. I am no mountain maker or sea shaper, but damn it all, I can at least write!

So this is how it will go: the posts I write will still frequently relate to the topic of PC video games, simply because they are what I devote the majority of my free time to. However, if the moment strikes and I find myself with an abundance of thoughts for another subject (TV shows, politics, choice of hand sanitizer), then I will bloody well write it and post it, relevance or appeal be damned. My fault is not my ability, but my lethargy. Thus, I place upon myself this one requirement: one post a month, more is welcome but certainly no less!

If I violate this… well, slothful I may be, but I still have my pride. This post is my admission of my laziness, and will serve to reprimand me in the future. Should I fail to fulfill that requirement, I will know that it is solely because I am too much of a feeble-hearted nitwit to tear my corpulent buttocks from the distractions of the world, even lacking the barest shreds of willpower necessary to focus on the comparatively simple task of writing one single blog post.

A continue screen from Newgrounds’ Domo-Kun Angry Smashfest

Now, let’s try this again.

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